


Points of No Return

by Eirist



Category: One Piece
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-02-10 20:36:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18667927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eirist/pseuds/Eirist
Summary: Because sometimes craziness hits you at equally crazy moments and turning back from this point on is physically, emotionally and dangerously impossible. A Zoro x Nami collection of scribbles and drabbles or any less than a thousand words.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei. 
> 
> Reminder: I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.
> 
> Warning: OOC possible. One shot scribble. 
> 
> Rating: T 
> 
> Note: Anything less than a thousand words scribble goes to this collection. I’ll consider this as breathers before I actually turn my attention to something longer. It just needs to get out of my system before I explode or before Oda decides to wreck my ship.

* * *

  **Points of No Return**

** 1: Storm Incoming  **

* * *

Lightning flickered from the far distance.

A huge mass of slate gray clouds started rolling towards the direction of the quietly anchored ship. The wind picked up, blowing towards the unfurled sails making the mast creak at its force.

Thunder rumbled overheard, prompting all the ship’s occupants to momentarily stop whatever they are currently doing.

At the shout of ‘storm’ and ‘Nami’ from the crow’s nest, the crew was moving in less than a second. Sounds of rushing footsteps and doors banging open or close came from all parts of the ship.

Nami was already making her way towards the prow barking orders all the way.

“Luffy, Sanji-kun the sails!”

“Gotcha Nami!”

“Hai, Nami- _swaaan_!”

“Franky, we're gonna be hit by the storm in 30 seconds tops. Ready the coup de burst!”

“Aaw, I’m on it!”

“Robin, we might need another set of hands on the ship’s wheel.”

“I’ll take care of it Nami.”

“Usopp! Tie down anything we don't want flying and hitting us!”

“Noted Nami!”

“Chopper! Brook! Stay put you idiots and no jumping out into the sea to save anyone!”

“Yohoho! Of course Nami- _san_.”

“Yes, Nami.”

“Zoro!”

“What?”

“Kiss me.”

“Huh?!”

The swordsman stared at her dumbfounded, one good eye widening. Around them the whole crew was frozen from shock.

Nami swallowed a lump that formed in her throat.

What. Did. She. Just. Say?!

Nobody spoke. Nobody even dared to breathe. The wind howled loudly but no one dared to move.

Zoro took a step back just as Nami did. They continued staring at each other with wide eyes.

Nami's lips quivered. Oh shit. Oh shit!

Then Zoro turned away, making a clicking sound with his tongue.

“Later woman, let’s get out of this storm first.”

And Nami’s face blushed a good shade of red as the rest of the _Mugiwaras_ gaped at them.

* * *

**_\- The End –_ **

* * *

 


	2. Myth Debunked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A kiss won’t make your heart skip or stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei. 
> 
> Reminder: I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.
> 
> Warning: OOC possible. One shot scribble. 
> 
> Rating: T 
> 
> Note: Somehow, I had fun writing this.

* * *

 

“Ok get this,” Usopp suddenly spoke slapping a hand on top of the book that he was reading. “Did you know that when you sneeze your heart actually stops?”

Nami stopped trimming her _mikan_ trees and glanced at him with a skeptic look. “Don’t you think it’s more like it skips a beat?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“So it’s like you die when you sneeze?”

“Uh…”

“Well…” Chopper decided to join the conversation. He stopped grinding the herbs for the medicine he was making.  “That’s a misconception. The heart doesn’t actually stop or skip a beat. What happens is –”

“Wait! Hold up!” Usopp raised a hand to stop him. “None of that medical stuff that I can’t really wrap around my head.”

“Eh? But—”

A loud yawn interrupted them and they shifted their gazes to where their swordsman was lounging under the shade of Nami’s trees. “Sneezing are for wusses,” Zoro lazily announced before yawning again.

“Nobody asked you!” Nami scowled and kicked his leg.

“Sneezing means sick Nami,” Zoro scoffed at her. “Only wusses gets sick.”

“Sneezing is a normal body reflex Zoro,” Chopper’s voice cut through their conversation. “It doesn’t automatically mean that you are sick when you sneeze.” He inwardly sighed. Maybe he should really start making a medicine for idiots…

“So Robin’s story has no merit huh?” Usopp pursed his lips thoughtfully.

“What do you mean?” The doctor asked.

“Is that where this is coming from Usopp?” Nami was grinning like a Cheshire cat. “Robin’s tall tales of quixotism?”

“Oh you mean those romantic shits Usopp absolutely likes?” Zoro questioned with a smirk.

“Shut up! They’re sweet and you’re a brute!”                                           

“Hahahahaha!”

“I refused to be judged like I’m the only one who adores her stories! I can see all of you listening to it!”

“I don’t listen, I sleep.” Zoro corrected him. “I have no interest in those kind of stories.”

“You have 206 bones in your body and not one of them is romantic?” Usopp muttered sarcastically. “Gee, what did you do to deserve that?”

“Shut up!”

“So…” Chopper looked thoughtful. “What does sneezing have to do with Robin’s story?”

“Usopp is trying to find out the possible moments that can make the heart stop or skip a beat.” Nami explained, stepping over Zoro’s leg as he frowned at her.

“Oh, I see.” Chopper tilted his head slightly. “Are you referring to story she told us last night? About the two adventurers who fell in love?”

 “That.”

“Hnn… So Robin finally ran out of creepy tales to tell?” Zoro snickered.

“Not really. It’s just for variety’s sake she says,” Nami answered. “Well the thing is Usopp seems to be hooked with the kissing scene.”

“I’m not!” Usopp slapped a hand on his knee. “I’m just curious! Are you not? Are you even listening to her stories?”

“I don’t even know why I’m listening to all of this,” Zoro sighed. He definitely chose the wrong place to nap.

“The hero and heroine of the story kissed and their hearts stopped and skipped a beat. Heck, even the whole world stops while they are doing it!”

“And you are bothered because…?” Nami prompted.

“Not bothered. Curious!”

“About?”

“He is curious if a kiss can really have that effect.” Zoro was grinning wickedly at him.

Usopp turned red at that.

“Oh,” Chopper blushed when he realized where they are getting at.

“Usopp,” Nami intoned.  “You are way over your head.”

“That’s more of an idiom than anything else Usopp,” Chopper explained. “There is no way it’s medically possible for a heart to skip a beat. Stop, yes. But that’ll only happen when you are dead.”

“Way to debunk it Chopper,” Usopp said sullenly.

“Well maybe you’ll just have to wait and find out for yourself Usopp,” Nami winked at him. “You know try to kiss a girl or something?”

This time Usopp turned a deeper shade of red.  “I… I… don’t…”

“That’s stupid Usopp,” Zoro said with a huff. “A kiss won’t make your heart skip or stop.”

“So says the swordsman with no romantic bone in his body,” Nami rolled her eyes at Zoro. “Maybe we should give it a try?”

She suddenly leaned towards him and promptly kissed his lips.

Usopp and Chopper squeaked, gawked and blushed at the display.

Nami pulled away with a triumphant grin on her face. “But yeah you are right Zoro. No skip or stop.”

The swordsman was staring at her in shock, not moving at all.

Usopp cleared his throat. “I beg to differ. I think his heart stopped.”

“Kyaaah!” Chopper suddenly shouted. “Somebody call a doctor!”

The sniper eyed Nami warily.

“Debunked,” Nami mouthed cheekily at him.

Chopper was still shouting for a doctor and Zoro was still not moving.

“Quick Nami just zap him with lightning!”

 

* * *

**_\- The End –_ **

* * *

 


	3. Treasures Untold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You said pick anything right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei. 
> 
> Reminder: I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.
> 
> Warning: OOC possible. One shot scribble. 
> 
> Rating: T

* * *

“Ok!” Nami clapped her hands twice to get her _nakama_ ’s attention. “That ended very well. _Extremely_ well. Straw Hats we are RICH!” She screamed as she hugged one of the big treasure sacks resting in all its glory on the lawn of the Sunny.

“That is a LOT!” Usopp’s eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets when he saw the three huge sacks, filled-to-the-brim with treasures of different shapes and sizes.

“Yohoho!” Brook laughed as he walked past behind Usopp. “It’s almost blinding even if I have no eyes to s—”

“That is so much more than what we got from Thriller Bark,” Franky interrupted the skull joke, raising his sunglasses in astonishment. “Nice Nami!” He gave her a thumbs up.

“Wooooaaah! That is even better than the treasures in Fishman Island!” Luffy yelled, staring at the sacks in amazement.

Nami suddenly swiveled her head towards her captain who promptly shut his mouth when he saw her death glare. Oops.

“ _Aho_ ,” Zoro muttered beside him. “Do not remind her.”

Luffy slowly edged away from the navigator’s reach. Just in case.

“How did you manage to bring all of that here Nami?” Robin gazed at the sacks in wonder.

The navigator grinned and said with a wink, “I have employed the services of a hunky but surly swordsman.”  

“I see.”

“Employed my ass,” Zoro scoffed. “Like you’ll really pay me you stingy _onna_.”   

“Oi moss-head,” Sanji glared at him. “How dare you mock Nami- _san_! You should be grateful she’s even giving you a chance to serve her.”

“Serve?”

“Ah my Nami- _swan_!” The cook ignored him. “You should have told me you needed a man-servant for today! Your prince would gladly—”

“Disgraceful.” 

“What did you say?!”

“Enough of that!” Nami’s voice thundered across the lawn, making Chopper jump onto Usopp’s arms. “Time to divide the loot!” She turned to Zoro. “Don’t worry I’ll make sure your efforts are rightfully compensated.”

“Oh really?”

Nami was smiling broadly. “Really!” She was practically glowing—no shining—from too much happiness.

“So bright…” Chopper whispered and Usopp nodded.

“Since you helped hauled all of these without pissing me off or bitching about it, I think a reward is in order.”

Sanji’s cigarette almost fell from his lips. “Reward?”

“Of course!"

“Reward?” This time it as Zoro who said it.

“What? I am generous regardless of what you keep saying.”

The other Straw Hats looked at each other in disbelief.

“ _Kami_ , she must’ve hit her head or something.”

“I heard that Usopp.”

A squeak came from the sniper’s direction.

“What kind of reward?” Zoro could not stop himself from asking. “No don’t tell me. You’ll deduct a certain shitty percent from my damned debt that you’ll eventually retrieve by charging me again over something I will do or will not do for you?”

“Spot on, but not really. Since you did all the work with the treasure hauling, I figured I can let you pick anything you like! On top of your share of loot.” She was beaming at him while explaining.

This time the Straw Hats looked at each other nervously. Even Zoro looked uneasy.

“Zoroooo,” Usopp whispered-called. “Do not fall for her tricks! It’s a trap!”

“Zorooo did you bring back another Nami?” Luffy whispered from the other side. “I’m pretty sure this one is not ours!”

A vein popped on the navigator’s forehead.

“Quick Sanji! Sniff her! Find out if she’s the real one!”

“I am not a dog you shitty sniper!” Sanji retorted. But hearts suddenly appeared around him when he turned to Nami. “But I’ll gladly…”

“Try and die Sanji- _kun_.”

“But…”

“That’s it!” Nami stomped a foot on the lawn deck. “Zoro just go and pick your reward! Let’s get this over with.”

“Alright,” he was looking at her skeptically. “Anything right?”

“Right.”

Zoro studied the treasure sacks filled to the brim with all kinds of golds and jewels.

Nami impatiently tapped her feet. “Well?”

The swordsman started to approach one of the bags, seemingly coming to a decision.

Then suddenly he made a beeline towards Nami and promptly grabbed the navigator at the waist, throwing her over his shoulder.

“Zoro! What the hell?!” She screeched, trying to look at him from her position. “What are you doing?!”

“Getting my reward. You said pick anything right?”

“Wha—whaaaat?”

She can hear Robin giggling softly in the background along with Franky’s shout of ‘super’ and Brook’s ‘yohohoho’ laughter.

“ _Marimooooooo_!!!”

****

* * *

**_\- The End –_ **

* * *

****


	4. Bath Bomb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything suddenly clicked into place. The reason why he kept running into the swordsman in the bath house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei.
> 
> Reminder: I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.
> 
> Warning: OOC possible. One shot scribble.
> 
> Rating: M (Blatantly Suggestive)
> 
> Note: I’m totally into Usopp plus awkward situations and realizations.
> 
> Summary: Everything suddenly clicked into place. The reason why he kept running into the swordsman in the bath house.

* * *

 

It was Usopp who first noticed the change in the swordsman’s routine.

With a hand poised to turn the bath house’s doorknob, the sniper jolted in surprise when the door suddenly opened.

“Uhm, Zoro?”

“Yeah?”

“Why are you here?”

Said man fixed him with a stare that made his blood run cold. “What do you mean why am I here?”

“Uh… this isn’t your usual bath schedule… right?”

Zoro frowned as he stopped drying his hair, draping his towel around his neck.

And Usopp continued staring at him, waiting for an explanation of sorts. There are times when curiosity gets the better of the cat… even if the cat gets killed.

The green-haired lad muttered an annoyed ‘tsk’ before answering, “It’s kinda hot tonight.”

Usopp nodded. Well… they were anchored in the coast of a summer island after all.

“All yours,” Zoro tilted his head towards the bathroom before walking away leaving Usopp staring at him quizzically. 

* * *

 

Three days after that encounter he ran into Zoro again.

Usopp frowned. Didn’t he bump into the swordsman just a few days ago?

“Uhm, Zoro?”

“Huh?”

The sniper raised an eyebrow at him. “You are here again?”

Zoro frowned at that. “What? I can’t use the bath now?”

Usopp cringed at his tone. “That’s not what I meant!” He waved both of his hands apologetically. “But this isn’t…”

The tall lad fixed him with a glare.

And Usopp got the underlying message immediately. “Right. Do carry on,” he said with a weak laugh, scratching his head. He stepped aside to let the swordsman pass, before Zoro gets in an irritable mood.

Enies Lobby is still fresh in his mind even after two years.

Besides, who cares about the crew’s bathing schedule anyway?

* * *

 

Except that it is really _bothering_ him.

He knows Zoro couldn’t care less if he were downright sweaty or dirty. The crew already came to terms with his ridiculous once a week bath schedule along with Luffy and Brook.

But Brook’s a freaking skeleton for _Kami_ ’s sake!

This shouldn’t be troubling him too much. Zoro decided to live his life a bit cleaner than before. That should be good and hooray for that.

But something in it is really off.

Zoro has a pretty predictable routine. And this new habit of his just doesn’t fit his daily life.

Usopp’s sharp eyes followed the swordsman as he entered the galley to get a glass of water. Looks like he just finished working out, given the sweat glistening on his body and the fact that he is walking around Sanji’s turf half-naked.

Looks like there is a chance of running into him in the bath again. From what he surmised Zoro now has a similar bathing schedule to the three cleanest persons on the ship.

Usopp casually flicked a glance at Chopper and Nami who seemed to be fighting about something.

“Nami! It can be an insect bite! Remember Kestia?”

“Stop fretting Chopper. It’s nothing!”

“Cannot! Let me see that!”

A groan came from Nami. “It will eventually disappear just like the other ones before.”

“You’ve been consistently getting them,” Franky interjected. “Maybe there IS an insect in the girls’ room?”

Chopper frowned. “But Robin doesn’t have any. Just Nami.”

“Maybe the insect only likes biting Nami?” Robin commented cheekily.

Nami frowned at her.

“Maybe she just need to clean their room,” Zoro drawled. “Change the sheets or something?”

The navigator stared daggers at him. “I don’t wanna hear that coming from you Zoro!”

“Hey maybe we need to do a cleanup?” Franky suggested. “That way we can check what’s causing it?” 

Everyone except Robin groaned. Nobody likes cleanups it can be a real pain in the ass.

“That’s not necessary,” Nami retorted. “Whatever it is I’m sure it will eventually stop biting me.” 

Usopp noted how she threw Zoro a scathing look, while the swordsman merely raised an eyebrow at her.

“Hmm, I doubt that.” Robin murmured, not taking her eyes off her book.

* * *

 

“I told you to stop it!”

Usopp froze midway to his branch office. That was Nami and her voice came from the library.

He crept closer to check. Everyone was supposed to be sleeping except him, the night watchman.

“They are noticing it already Zoro!”

_Huh? Zoro?_

“Maybe if you stop wearing revealing tops, they wouldn’t.”

“Maybe if you stop with the bite marks, they wouldn’t!”

“Oh? I thought you like it when I do that?”

“Mmm… I do. Just not where everyone can see.”

“I think I can find secret places to put ‘em.”

Usopp’s stood in front of the library door, brain racing a mile per minute.

 _Maybe the insect only likes biting her._ Robin’s voice echoed inside his head.

There was a moan and a low grunt and the unmistakable sound of bodies dropping down the library’s bench or floor… probably.

Everything suddenly clicked into place. The reason why he kept running into the swordsman in the bath house.

And just like that Usopp high-tailed it out of there before he hears and sees more than he should.

* * *

 

The next time he ran into Zoro again. He did not say a word.

He merely nodded in acknowledgement and that earned him a frown from the tall lad.

“Problem Usopp?”

Usopp raised his hands in mock-surrender. “N-n-none,” his eyes darted back and forth nervously.

Zoro studied him for a few seconds. “Weather’s too hot,” he mumbled suddenly, walking past the sniper.

 _Weather’s too hot._ Usopp thought. _Huh._

“All yours,” Zoro nodded towards the bath house.

And before Usopp can stop his big, stupid mouth he blurted out…

“Guess no baths no sex huh?”  

****

* * *

  **_\- The End –_ **

* * *

 


	5. Noise Barrage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tell the cook to stop whining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei. 
> 
> Reminder: I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.
> 
> Warning: OOC possible. One shot scribble. 
> 
> Rating: T (Mawkish)
> 
> Note: I like the idea of the swordsman experiencing something normal. We’ve been hyping about his monstrous strength and abnormality too much.

* * *

 He has a headache.

Not that he would admit it. He was, after all, not one to complain about any physical pain.

But damn, he is human. He does succumb to one every now and then.

And it put him in a rather 'sensitive' mood as Usopp phrased.

That long-nose sniper will get it later.

He'd go with Robin's description any time. Temperamental sounds much better.

That's why he holed himself up in the crow’s nest under the guise of 'meditating' so no stupid crewmate will disturb him.

For thirty minutes he'd been trying to catch a wink. But sleep seemed elusive. Which is rare considering that he can sleep anytime, anywhere.

His headache was increasing by the hour, but he refrained from asking any medicine from Chopper. He did survive those instances where he suffered from it before. Why start taking one now?

His forehead creased in annoyance. He was more pissed with the fact that the headache was damn irritating rather than painful and stopping him from doing any of his normal activity.

Maybe it's from alcohol depletion? That stupid cook put a temporary ban on their liquor supply since it was dwindling down and as they were nowhere near any island (as per Nami's charts), there's no saying when they can restock.

Stupid swirly brows.

Something touched his forehead, making the crease disappear as he inhaled the familiar scent of _mikans_.

He slowly opened an eye and stared questioningly at the face hovering just above him.

"Hey," Nami said brushing another kiss on his forehead. "You alright?"

He managed a small smile before closing his eye again. "Your smell is soothing."

He heard her giggle. "I brought you _sake_ ," she whispered conspiratorially. She must've nicked one for him, hopefully right under that _ero_ -cook's stupid nose.

"You're heaven sent."

There was a giggle again before her lips touched his for a light kiss. "If that still doesn’t make you feel better, go see Chopper later alright?"

"No promises."

"Girlfriend's order!"

He opened his eye again to look at her. He was about to utter a protest but Nami beat him.

"Or I'll tell Chopper what's up and send him here to look at you," she added the threat knowing how obstinate he can be. She left a quick kiss on his cheek before standing up and exiting the crow's nest. 

* * *

The moment he opened the galley door, his headache worsened from the sound of dinner chaos.

The _sake_ did wonders and it helped put him to sleep. But neither it nor the nap did anything for his headache.

And since he was ordered and threatened with the use of the terms 'girlfriend' and 'Chopper' respectively, he forced himself to climb down the nest to finally seek proper medical treatment.

Before Nami decides to give him her own.

He trudged inside to grab some dinner first. Choruses of 'Zoro!' greeted him, making his head pound harder than before.

"Oi Zoro!" His captain shouted, his happy voice making his ears ring. "Dinner time! Let's eat! Let's eat!"

His chant was joined by the Usopp, Franky and Brook and it took all of Zoro's willpower not to unsheathe his swords and _Tatsumaki_ their sorry asses.

"Zoro," Robin called calmly. She politely nudged a plate in front of the vacant seat beside her, nodding at him to sit down beside her. Far from the mayhem.

 Thank heavens; he had at least one _nakama_ who have a LOT of sense in her.

"Where's..." he started to ask the but was interrupted by Franky's holler of 'aw' and 'super' while shaking his hips.

He just sat down and pinched the bridge of his nose. Good grief.

"Are you ok Zoro?" Chopper asked, sensing that something was off with the swordsman the moment he entered the galley.

"I—"

"Ah my Nami- _swaan_!" Sanji suddenly, very loudly crooned out of nowhere.

He exhaled sharply. All the noise around him was making him feel like somebody was beating his head with _taiko bachi_ -s.

“Let me get that for you my love!” Sanji offered, grabbing the tray the navigator was holding.

“Err… thanks Sanji- _kun_.”

“Where do you want me to bring this tea my sweet?”

Nami smiled. “Give it to Zoro, Sanji- _kun_.”

“Eh?”

“You heard me,” the navigator’s smile widened as she emerged from the kitchen to take a seat beside Zoro.

Sanji followed suit, a bit shocked. He initially thought the navigator was preparing the tea for herself.

_It was for the third rate swordsman?_

Fuming and with hands trembling, he set the tray down in front of Zoro. 

Despite his headache, Zoro found it amusing. “Thanks, cook.” He smirked at the blond chef who was gritting his teeth.

“I hope you scald your tongue you bastard.”

Ignoring Sanji, he took the cup to drink the tea Nami had so graciously made for him.

“I hope it burns your throat you damn muscle head.”

Zoro just zoned him out. One thing worse than the noises created by his crewmates…

…was the sound of swirly brows bellyaching and grating his nerves.

And he did not want to handle any of that right now damn it.

“And while you are at it, I hope you choke on it you shitty swordsman! HOW DARE YOU OBLIGE NAMI- _SAN_ TO—”

He was cut off by the sound of the tea cup banging on the table. 

The rest of the crew stopped their antics when they realized another Zoro-Sanji fight was about to ensue.

The two-thirds of the Monster Trio glared at each other threateningly.

Then Zoro deliberately looked away and nonchalantly dropped his forehead on Nami’s shoulder.

“Tell the cook to stop whining.”

Everyone—save for Robin—stared at them. Sanji had his mouth hanging open.

“Sanji- _kun_ , stop it.” Nami _surprisingly_ requested, placing a hand on Zoro’s head _affectionately_.

Now the noise of almost everyone choking from astonishment was good enough to alleviate his headache just a bit.

But even better was the sound of the cook wailing.

* * *

**_\- The End –_ **

* * *

 


	6. Captain's Orders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, you can always order them captain.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: One Piece (and its characters) belongs to Eiichiro Oda-sensei.
> 
> Reminder: I have no beta-reader. Any grammatical and spelling errors are solely mine.
> 
> Warning: OOC possible. One shot scribble.
> 
> Rating: T
> 
> Note: This is all for the sake of fun and craziness. Robin’s tall tales of quixotism are back again creating havoc along with Luffy’s whim.

 

* * *

“We are gathered here today…” Luffy intoned.

"Gathered for what?" Zoro’s face was scrunched up in a frown while looking at his captain questioningly.

Luffy paused at the intrusion and cleared his throat. "Ehem! We are gathered here today..."

"I'll repeat Zoro's question," this time it was Nami who cut him off. "Gathered for what exactly?"

A pout appeared on captain’s face, though he chose to ignore the questions.

“We are gathered here today…” he uttered one more time, loudly and clearly. “Uhm…”

“To bear witness  _senchou_ - _san_ ,” a voice—obviously Robin’s—interjected with a chuckle. A flurry of pink petals flew around them indicating that she was nowhere near but  _is_  currently keeping an eye (and mouth) on them.

"Ah right!” Luffy’s expression brightened at the reminder. “We are gathered here today, to bear witness,"

“Bear witness to what?!” Nami looked bewildered.

Zoro was just as confused. "What are we supposed to witness?" He glanced at Nami who shrugged.

"Is this some sort of a meeting, Luffy? Should we call the others?"

"Uh no!"

Zoro and Nami exchanged puzzled glances.

"Tch. Why did you call us out here Luffy?" Zoro asked his tone impatient. Luffy had pestered him to come to the upper deck and from the look on Nami’s face, he probably did the same with her. "You're not pulling one of your stupid pranks on us are you?”

Luffy’s eyes widened and he waved his arms in defense. "NO! NO!"

"Then why are we here?!" Nami's voice was like the calm before the storm and it actually sent shivers down the two Supernovas’ spines.

"Luffy..." there was warning in Zoro's tone. He decided he better clear things up before the navigator decides to beat the living shit out of the young man.

And Luffy gulped. He maybe the captain but damn if his two oldest  _nakama_  cannot scare the shit out of him... especially Nami.

Said woman was already cracking her knuckles.

"Because as captain I  _can_  marry you two!!!" He shouted.

Silence.

" _WHAT?!!!_ "

It sounded so much like an explosion that some of Straw Hats scurried out of their respective rooms-slash-hiding places.

But seeing that it was only their captain, swordsman and navigator in the upper deck; they all decided to shrug it off.

"Where the hell did you get that idea?!" Zoro all but roared.

At the same time Nami was shrieking, “Marry? US?! Are you out of your fucking mind Luffy?"

They both looked livid and in for the kill that Luffy backed away from them.

Robin had told him that as captain he CAN perform marriage ceremonies.

And she also said that when two persons liked each other, they eventually marry each other.

Just like in the tale she told them last night.

"Luffy,” Zoro growled, thumbing one of his swords out of its sheath. “You have one minute to explain or I'll be coating  _Kitetsu_  with your blood."

“No,” Nami snarled, pulling out her sorcery Clima-tact. “He has less than a minute.”

Luffy jumped away from them. "But... but when people like each other. They marry each other."

"Where did you even get that idea?!" Zoro bellowed.

“I think I know where..." Nami muttered lowly, looking pointedly at the archeologist, who was reading and sunbathing at the lawn deck. It was probably from one of Robin’s tall tales.

“Tch! That gloomy woman…” Zoro grumbled under his breath.

“But why US?” Nami hissed at Luffy, eyes narrowing dangerously.

"You… you both said you like each other."

Zoro and Nami drew back, brows furrowing before glancing at each other, perplexed.

“Huh?”

“You both told me,” Luffy innocently, very honestly said. “You like each other.”

Eyes widened at what the rubber man casually dropped.

"LUFFY!!!” They both screamed in unison. “YOU TOLD ON ME?!!"

The swordsman and navigator turned to each other, mirroring each other’s shocked expression.

Luffy only laughed sheepishly. "Uhh..... _shishishi_ ".

“It was supposed to be a secret!" Nami cried out.

“I specifically told you not to say anything about it!” Zoro said at the same time, a vein popping visibly on his forehead.

“ _Wari, wari._ ” Luffy shoved a finger inside his nose. Then he grinned, ever oblivious to the chaos that he just unleashed. “So can I now marry you guys?” 

“NO!!!” They simultaneously answered and both flushed red when their eyes met.

Luffy looked crestfallen. “But…”

“So this is where things start being awkward,” Nami inhaled sharply, glaring daggers at Luffy.

“Yeah. No thanks to our  _aho sencho_ ,” Zoro muttered darkly. “He just went and ruined it all.”

There captain is really a certified idiot. Through and through.

But there’s no going back from this. And they both know it. Thanks to Luffy and his big rubber mouth.

Nami and Zoro’s eyes met and both promptly averted their gazes in embarrassment.

"Whatever happened to leaving it to luck? Or fate?" Zoro groused, scratching the back of his head as Nami sighed in resignation.

Robin suddenly appeared on the deck. “How are things?” 

“ _Oi_ Robin! You said I can marry them!" Luffy complained.

"Yes you can  _senchou-san_. But we still have to consider if they want it or not." Robin responded glancing at the swordsman and the navigator.

Luffy whined in disappointment. “They’re saying no. Even if they both told me that they like each other.”

“Well…”

"Stop putting ideas into his head, Robin." Nami chastised.

“This is all your fault,” Zoro muttered.

Robin smiled cheekily at them.

“Well, you can always order them captain.”

Luffy’s whole face lit up at that idea.

****

* * *

  **_\- The End –_ **

* * *

 


End file.
